Avoiding toxic relationships
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The Family37
Focus on nurturing harmony in your community or family. Cultivate stability and mutual support by fostering open communication and shared values.
↓ Line 1
The foundation of the family is strong. By maintaining order and discipline, harmony is achieved.
↓ Line 2
Focus on responsibilities and duties within the family. Consistent effort leads to success.
↓ Penetration57
Adapt influence like the wind; subtle shifts bring progress. Consistency and endurance will penetrate barriers.
37 The Family
Other titles: Family Life, Clan, Home, Linkage, Dwelling People, The Psyche, "May indicate a situation where the family can and should help." -- D.F. Hook
Judgment
Legge: For the regulation of The Family, what is most advantageous is that the wife be firm and correct.
Wilhelm/Baynes: The Family . The perseverance of the woman furthers.
Ritsema/Karcher: Dwelling People. Harvesting: woman Trial. [This hexagram describes your situation in terms of living and working with others in a common space. It emphasizes that caring for your relation with those who share this space and for the space itself is the adequate way to handle it. To be in accord with the time, you are told to: dwell with people!]
Shaughnessy: Family members: Beneficial for the maiden to determine.
Cleary (1): For people in the home it is beneficial that the woman be chaste. [In the human body, the vitality, spirit, soul, psyche, and intent all belong to yin and all take orders from the human mentality … When you refine away the human mind, the mind of tao spontaneously becomes manifest.]
Wu:The Family indicates that it is advantageous for a woman to be persevering. [This is a hexagram with its emphasis on women. Both constituent trigrams are feminine … Hence those who endeavor to be firm and correct will have advantages.]
The Image
Legge: Wind rising out of fire -- the image of The Family. The superior man speaks the truth and is consistent in his behavior.
Wilhelm/Baynes: Wind comes forth from fire: The image of The Family. Thus the superior man has substance in his words and duration in his way of life.
Blofeld: This hexagram symbolizes wind rising from fire. The Superior Man's speech is full of substance and he behaves with constancy.
Liu: The wind coming out of the fire symbolizes The Family. The speech of the superior man should have substance, and his conduct be enduring.
Ritsema/Karcher: Wind originating-from fire issuing-forth. Dwelling People. A chun tzu uses words to possess beings and-also movement to possess perseverance.
Cleary (1): Wind emerges from fire, members of a family. Thus is there factuality in the speech of superior people, consistency in their deeds.
Cleary (2): … Developed people are factual in speech, consistent in action.
Wu: Wind comes forth from fire; this is The Family. Thus the jun zi speaks with facts and acts with perseverance.
COMMENTARY
Confucius/Legge: In Family the wife is in her correct place in the lower trigram, and the husband in his correct place in the upper. That spouses occupy their correct positions shows the correct relationship between heaven and earth. The parents rule the family: let the father indeed be father, and the son son; let the elder brother be indeed elder brother, and the younger brother younger; let the husband indeed be husband, and the wife wife -- then the family will be in its correct state. Bring the family to that state, and all under heaven will be established.
Legge: The written Chinese character for Family simply means "a household," or "the members of a family." The lesson of the hexagram is the regulation of the family, effected by the cooperation of the husband and wife in their several spheres, and only needing it to become universal to secure the good order of the kingdom. The important place accorded to the wife is seen in the short sentence in the Judgment -- that she be firm and correct, and do her part well is essential for the family's proper regulation.
The wife is represented by line two and the husband is her proper correlate in line five. The relationship between heaven and earth is analogous to the relationship between husband and wife.
The second sentence of the Confucian commentary, more closely rendered, would be: "That in the family there is an authoritative ruler is a way of naming father and mother." This means that the assertion of authority in a family should be a correct balance of force and gentleness.
Anthony: The Family symbolizes correct relationships between people – the family unit, the spiritual family (the Sage and the student), and human groups generally. When these most basic relationships are correct, the world is made correct through the force of inner truth, through cultivation of the feminine component of our nature, and through persevering in a virtually menial position (from our ego’s viewpoint) so that our work can come to fruition. All this means to forgo striving and self-assertion, and to allow ourself to be led, while persevering in gentleness and devotion to our path.
NOTES AND PARAPHRASES
Judgment: For the correct regulation of the psyche, what is most important is that the ego must be firm and correct.
The Superior Man lives his allegiance to the ideals of the Work.
Applying the Hermetic Axiom: "as above, so below," the relationships within a family are analogous to the relationships within a city-state, or a kingdom, and vice- versa:
Society centuries before the time of Confucius had been organized on the basis of family. In the early days of the Chou dynasty fiefs had been allotted to the feudal lords in a system of planned colonization. These feudal lords, linked to one another and to the royal house by marriage ties, took their families, retainers, peasants, artisans and soldiers to form self-sufficient colonies based on an agricultural economy and governed from well-fortified walled cities. These large family groupings of the nobility were preserved only so long as the relationships of parents to children, brothers to brothers, and masters to servants were effectively controlled. D.H. Smith -- Confucius
If the ideal city is like a family, then the analogy also holds for an individual -- here the comparison goes directly from city to psyche:
Have we any greater evil for a city than what splits it and makes it many instead of one? Or a greater good than what binds it together and makes it one? ... Then is that city best governed which is most like a single human being? Plato -- The Republic
Psychologically interpreted, the hexagram of The Family symbolizes the psyche, and the Confucian commentary tells us that when its inner components all assume their proper roles and functions, then the Work will come into fruition. ("All under heaven will be established.") The identical idea has been stated in Gnostic thought:
Jesus said to them: "When you make eyes in the place of an eye, and a hand in the place of a hand, and a foot in the place of a foot, and an image in the place of an image, then shall you enter the Kingdom. The Gnostic Gospel According to Thomas
The husband is the analogue of heaven or the Self, and the wife is the analogue of earth or the ego. When the ego assumes its correct role as the magnetic servant of the Work, then inner transformations can take place. I have paraphrased the Judgment in terms of the necessity of the ego to follow the dictates of the Work, but one could alternately phrase it in terms of keeping emotional responses under control. For the wife to be "firm and correct" is to ensure that emotions, drives and appetites are not allowed to make decisions -- they are servants, not masters. This is the essence of the Work, and arguably the most reiterated idea in theI Ching.
The patient should be encouraged to use his mind, through observation and discrimination, to bring clearly into his awareness the irrational aspect of his drives and emotions, and also the possible drawbacks and harmfulness to himself and others of their uncontrolled manifestation … To act on the spur of an impulse, a drive or an intense emotion can very often produce undesirable effects which one afterwards regrets … Therefore, he should learn – by repeated experiment and effort – to “insert” between impulse and action a stage of reflection, of mental consideration of a situation, and of critical analysis of his impulse, trying to realize its origin, its source. R. Assagioli – Psychosynthesis
The thirty-seventh hexagram teaches us that the way to manage the emotions is no different than the proper management of aFamily. No wise parent can teach a child self-discipline by adopting the child's point of view: permissiveness, either with our children or our own primitive drives and passions, is a sure formula for disintegration. The Work demands that the ego hold the line on this issue -- indeed, it is the ego's only legitimate function.
We are dominated by everything with which our [ego] becomes identified. We can dominate and control everything from which we disidentify ourselves. R. Assagioli -- Psychosynthesis
Line 1
Legge: The first line, dynamic, shows its subject establishing restrictive regulations in his household. Occasion for repentance will disappear.
Wilhelm/Baynes: Firm seclusion within the family. Remorse disappears.
Blofeld: The family dwelling stands within an enclosure -- regret vanishes.
Liu: He sets up a rule for his family. Remorse disappears. [People can expect success in their plans.]
Shaughnessy: The gate has a family; regret is gone.
Cleary (1): Guarding the home, regret vanishes.
Wu: A family lives by the principle. There will be no regret.
COMMENTARY
Confucius/Legge: He establishes rules before any change has taken place in their wills. Wilhelm/Baynes: The will has not yet changed. Blofeld: The first part of this passage symbolizes determination which has never swerved. Ritsema/Karcher: Purpose not-yet transformed indeed. Cleary (2): The aim does not change. Wu: The goal has not been changed.
Legge: Line one is dynamic in a dynamic place. It suggests the necessity of strict rule in governing the family. Regulations must be established, and their observance strictly insisted on.
NOTES AND PARAPHRASES
Siu: At the outset, the man establishes firm rules of order and relationships in the household. Overindulgence of a young child leads to the difficult task of breaking the child's will later on.
Wing: At the very beginning of relationships or endeavors, you establish firm roles and well-defined systems, then all will go well. Even occasions that might give rise to arguments will pass without remorse.
Editor: A house symbolizes the whole psyche, so a household is all of the entities which make it up -- thoughts, feelings, appetites, passions, etc. The idea here is that one must maintain consistency and order in the situation at hand, and not allow any deviation from that order. Implied is the injunction not to indulge in inappropriate expressions of emotion. The line can sometimes mean that you have everything you need to succeed within you: you don't have to seek outside for what you already possess.
Therefore when the light circulates, the energies of the whole body appear before its throne, as, when a holy king has established the capital and has laid down the fundamental rules of order, all the states approach with tribute; or as, when the master is quiet and calm, men- servants and maids obey his orders of their own accord, and each does his work. The Secret of the Golden Flower
A. Put your house in order. Maintain discipline, define your parameters, and organize your priorities.
B. Restrict and control the expression of autonomous forces within the psyche. Do not deviate from established order.
C. You already have everything you require to attain your goals.
Line 2
Legge: The second line, magnetic, shows its subject taking nothing on herself, but in her central place attending to the preparation of the food. Through her firm correctness there will be good fortune.
Wilhelm/Baynes: She should not follow her whims. She must attend within to the food. Perseverance brings good fortune.
Blofeld: This is a time when nothing can be brought to completion; however, within the household, righteous persistence brings good fortune.
Liu: Her duties are to keep the household and prepare the food; she should not pursue her fancies. Persistence leads to good fortune.
Ritsema/Karcher: Without direction, releasing. Locating the center, feeding. Trial: significant.
Shaughnessy: There is no place to follow, in the middle of the food; determination is auspicious.
Cleary (1): Not concentrating on anything, being chaste in the kitchen is auspicious.
Cleary (2): Not concentrating on anything but household duties, it bodes well to be chaste.
Wu: There is nothing suitable to do outside of the family. There will be good fortune to prepare meals inside.
COMMENTARY
Confucius/Legge: The good fortune is due to the docility of its subject operating with humility. Wilhelm/Baynes: The good fortune depends upon devotion and gentleness. Blofeld: Namely, good fortune arising from compliance and gentleness. Ritsema/Karcher: Yielding uses Ground indeed. Cleary (2): What bodes well is docile obedience. Wu: The good fortune comes from the subject’s modesty.
Legge: Line two is magnetic, in the proper and central place in the lower trigram. It fitly represents the wife, and describes her special sphere and duty. She should be unassuming in regard to all beyond her sphere, always being firm and correct. Docility is suggested by the magnetic line. The humility comes from the upper trigram, whose attribute is Pliant Flexibility
NOTES AND PARAPHRASES
Siu: The good fortune of the family lies primarily in the unassuming role of the wife, who looks after the welfare of the family and food for the sacrifice. Similarly, in governmental affairs the state of public welfare depends primarily upon the unassuming civil servant who confines himself to the duties at hand.
Wing: Don't succumb to impulses now. Seek nothing by force. Restrain such actions that are not part of the business at hand. Good fortune comes when the immediate needs of The Family are met.
Editor: The image is a clear picture of a magnetic element remaining in its proper place. That is, the "female" components -- emotions, feelings, etc., must remain within the psyche to nourish its growth, evolution and eventual transformation. An inappropriate expression of emotion invariably spells disaster for the Work. Since the polarity of the ego is always magnetic in relation to the dynamic Self, the line can also refer to keeping the ego in its proper sphere of influence.
Our emotions are probably untrustworthy when it comes to providing us with a basis for action. Fear and aggression, for instance, were useful during thousands of years of prehistory when our ancestors had to battle for survival against savage and cunning enemies. But today, these same emotions, when unrecognized and unchecked, lead to such dangerous acts as the relentless stockpiling of nuclear arms, or the unnecessary expansion of territorial borders. R.M. Restak -- The Brain: The Last Frontier
A. Tend to your proper business -- do not step outside your sphere of duty.
B. Control your emotional responses to nourish the evolution and integration of psychic processes.
57 Penetration
Other titles: The Gentle, The Penetrating, Wind, The Symbol of Bending to Enter, Willing Submission, Gentle Penetration, Ground, Calculations, Complaisance, Penetrating Influence, The Penetration of the Wind, Humility, Devoted Service, Submission
Judgment
Legge:Penetration indicates modest success. See the great man and move in the direction that implies.
Wilhelm/Baynes:The Gentle. Success through what is small. It furthers one to have somewhere to go. It furthers one to see the great man.
Blofeld:Willing Submission -- success in small matters. It is advantageous to have in view a goal (or destination) and to visit a great man. [This is a reasonably auspicious hexagram; it augurs a certain amount of success for those who submit to circumstances -- unless a moving line indicating the contrary is received. This is not a time for resistance but for submission.]
Liu:Penetration. Small success. It is beneficial to go somewhere. It is beneficial to see a great man.
Ritsema/Karcher: Ground, the small: Growing. Harvesting: possessing directed going. Harvesting: visualizing Great People. [This hexagram describes your situation in terms of providing an underlying support. It emphasizes that subtly penetrating and nourishing things from below, the action of Ground, is the adequate way to handle it. To be in accord with the time, you are told to enter the situation from below!]
Shaughnessy: Calculations: Little receipt; beneficial to have someplace to go; beneficial to see the great man.
Cleary (1):Wind is small but developmental. It is beneficial to have somewhere to go. It is beneficial to see a great man.
Cleary (2):The small comes through successfully. It is beneficial to have a place to go. It is beneficial to see great people.
Wu: Complaisance indicates that the small are pervasive. It is advantageous to have undertakings. It is also advantageous to see the great man.
The Image
Legge: Two wind trigrams following each other form Penetration. The superior man proclaims his commands and undertakes his work.
Wilhelm/Baynes: Winds following one upon the other: the image of the gently penetrating. Thus the superior man spreads his commands abroad and carries out his undertakings.
Blofeld: This hexagram symbolizes a favorable wind. The Superior Man performs his allotted tasks in consonance with heaven's (or the sovereign's) will. [The component trigrams combine the concepts of wind and blandness -- hence a favorable wind.]
Liu: Wind following wind symbolizes Penetration. The superior man proclaims his directives and executes his affairs.
Ritsema/Karcher: Following winds. Ground. A chun tzu uses distributing fate to move affairs.
Cleary (1): Wind following wind.Thus do superior people articulate directions and carry out tasks.
Wu: One breeze follows the other; this is Complaisance. Thus the jun zi gives further injunctions in order to administer public affairs.
COMMENTARY
Confucius/Legge: Repeated wind trigrams show the repetition of governmental orders. The dynamic fifth line has penetrated to his correct central place and carries his will into action. The magnetic first and fourth lines obey the dynamic lines above them. Hence it is said that there will be success in small matters.
Legge: Penetration symbolizes both wind and wood, and has the attributes of Docility, Flexibility and Penetration. We are to think of it as wind with its penetrating power which finds its way into every nook and cranny.
Confucius said: "The relation between superiors and inferiors is like that between the wind and the grass. The grass must bend when the wind blows upon it." In accordance with this, the hexagram must be understood as the influence and orders of the government designed to remedy what is wrong in the people. The upper trigram denotes the orders issuing from the ruler, and the lower the obedience rendered to them by the people.
Ch'eng-tzu says:"Superiors, in harmony with the duty of inferiors, issue their commands; inferiors, in harmony with the wishes of their superiors, follow them. Above and below there are that harmony and deference; and this is the significance of the redoubled Wind trigram. When governmental commands and business are in accordance with what is right, they agree with the tendencies of the minds of the people who follow them."
Anthony: Getting this hexagram often refers to the presence of inferior elements that obstruct our having a good influence ... Because this hexagram is concerned with self-correction, we often get it together with Work on What has been Spoiled. [Hex. 18: Repair.]
NOTES AND PARAPHRASES
Judgment: Get to the heart of the matter and act on the information obtained.
The Superior Man acts on his understanding by implementing it in the world.
The hexagram ofPenetration, made up of two trigrams symbolizing Wind (which is air in motion), suggests the activity of thought (the realm of air) trying to comprehend or "penetrate" something. Thus, each line of the figure may be seen as some aspect of an act of mental endeavor.
Therefore the student must exert his own mind to the utmost. If he does so, he will know his own nature. And if he knows his own nature, examines his own self and makes it sincere, he becomes a sage. Therefore the "Great Norm" says, "The virtue of thinking is penetration and profundity ... Penetration and profundity lead to sageness.” -- Ch'eng I
The first line depicts vacillation and indecisiveness; the second shows one trying to "get to the bottom" of a matter. Line three is an image of futile hypothesizing; four and five show two aspects of successful comprehension, and the sixth line symbolizes an inability to understand.
Man's intellect -- the greatest but most dangerous gift he has received from God -- builds a bridge across the seemingly unconquerable chasm between that which is personal and mortal and that which is impersonal and eternal. Through man's intellect he succumbed to the temptation to fall out of divine unity with his consciousness. But by the same token, his intellect gives him the possibility of bringing back his consciousness into full union with divinity. By means of his intellect, man is able to understand truth, and when he has understood, he will seek and keep on seeking and trying until he some day succeeds in finding the only path to the realization of his self. Elisabeth Haich -- Initiation
The hexagram can also symbolize humble submission and devoted service, thus suggesting the role of the ego in the Work. To truly comprehend the nature of the Work is to serve it with devotion. There are some interesting associations between the act of penetration and that of submission – when dynamic and magnetic are in full harmony they lose their individual identities and become one force which is both and neither.